We often think of the minor children of divorce, but we rarely think of the adult children of divorce. I had a case involving a 15 year old child where the other side actually said that the parents only have to deal with each other for another three years.
When you become a parent, you become a parent for life. You don't stop being a parent when that child becomes an adult. I have watched in sadness when a young couple is scheduling times for the parents to see the child without running into each other. This poor young couple should be experiencing the happiest moment in their life. Their complete and utter focus should be on the beautiful new life being brought into this world. Instead, they are focusing on making sure their divorced parents are not running into each other and making a scene.
Worse still are the uncomfortable situations where the ex-spouses see each other for the first time in years at this blessed event. The poor mother that just gave birth should be in euphoria, but she is on pins and needles as the two people who should be her support are creating unbelievable tension.
This situation also plays out at weddings, funerals and other events where families come together.
Parents chose each other to be the parents of this child. They are the parents of this child for life. The child did not make the bad choices, the parents did.
The most important thing to remember about adult children of divorce, is that they are adults. They can choose not to invite their parents to see the grandchildren if the parents make family gatherings uncomfortable and hurt filled situations.
Divorced couples are not hurting their ex-spouse by not moving on. They are hurting themselves, they are hurting their children and their grandchildren.
Parenting is a forever commitment to give up part of yourself for your child. It does not end when your child is an adult.
